Vanessa Garza's blog

12 weeks pregnant picture

Doesn't count as a belly pic...but I like it because I am rocking my pregnant curves!

Vanessa.vida.june2010

"Please excuse this interruption..."

Whoa....it's been awhile since I updated the blog.  Let's see, here's what's happened (almost in chronological order)

1. Lil sis graduated from college + trip to NYC
2. DH celebrated his 30th
3. I started a new job with an awesome science education non-profit, Iridescent  Check out my bio under about us --> Director and team
4. Vida turned 2 + she went to Disneyland for the 1st time
5. My husband stood in 2 weddings in March, 1 week apart + trip to San Diego and trip to New Orleans
6. I AM PREGNANT...11 weeks and 4 days!

Each of these events have enough significant details to warrant their own posts.  I can weave them all through the pregnancy though, here it goes...

Mid-March: Chatting up with the bridal party in SD about my goal to finish having kids by the time I am 30 (turning 29 in July).  Told them that I took my last birth control pill earlier that month. So we'll see. I had been taking prenatals to prep my body for pregnancy.  I did that with Vida and things turned out well, this was not the case with the surprise pregnancy of that resulted in a miscarriage last summer.

Late March: I get pregnant on the first shot according to my calculations.  I am very certain of the date and my EDD is set as 12/15...(my estimate)....12/16 (my UCLA CNM estimate)....12/17 (my midwife estimate)

Early April: Vida turns 2!  Before I missed my period, the following week, I knew I was pregnant.  So far the 1st trimester has been way different from when I was pregnant with Vida.  I didn't have that sense, whereas with Vida symptoms such as super tender BB's manifested super quickly and strong nausea.  This time it was more of a feeling AND super dry skin around my mouth and chin area.  This persisted and was so sensitive that I had to switch to a mild, facial cleansing bar.

Mid-April: The stick gives me a faint but definite positive.  

Late-April: I test almost 1/week until my first MW appt. The pink lines get stronger along with the odd appetite.  I remember picking up a strong whiff of Lucky Charms around midnight when there was NO cereal in the house.  DH was on a business trip, had he been home, I probably would've dashed off to get some.

Early May: First appt with midwife, she's so wonderful.  Paying for this out of pocket with hope that the insurance reimburses at their stated rate.  I am 8 weeks at this point. 

Mid-May: Go to UCLA CNM for 'shadow care'.  They know my history and they squeezed in an ultrasound.  Jelly Bean was beating away at 170 bpm.  NUTS!  It was a LONG appt, I actually had to return early the next morning to do the bloodwork.  I was so trying to get the appt in before Mother's Day but it wasn't necessary.  My plan was to put a copy of the ultrasound picture in the Mother's Day card to my mom.  She already knew and I knew she knew.  :-)  I just wanted to select a special day to tell her and I was being cautious...still am.  Her reaction was not what I expected and she wasn't quite loving her gift.  She was immature about it and it escalated the following week.  It was drama but in 24 hrs she did an about face so someone must have talked some sense into her.

Mid-May: Pablo (DH) turns 30, we have an awesome day with the beautiful outdoors and a lovely dinner, co-planned by Carmen.

Late May: Veronica's graduation from Marist.  Traveling to NYC with a toddler has its challenges.  It was a toughy but still so much fun.  I had the chance to visit with a former student.  I was his 5th grade teacher and now's he's a junior in HS!  We also visited our old shoebox apt on 125th street in Harlem!

Memorial Day Weekend: Looking forward to my UCLA CNM appointment on Tuesday for the 1st trimester ultrasound screening.  I won't return to them until 22-24 weeks for the anatomical screening and other battery of tests. I will inform them of my birth plans at that time.  Wednesday will make 12 weeks, hooray!  Hopefully my sinuses and intestines will simmer down.  Another odd set of symptoms in comparison to my pregnancy with Vida.  I am so getting boy vibes with this one.  I crave MEAT and not the good kind.  Do you know how hard it was to NOT eat a hot dog in NYC!  UGH!
So I bought the vegan corn dogs and nitrite and nitrate-free hot dogs from Trader Joe's along with fake bacon from Morning Star.  I know the fake bacon sucks but it's more about the texture. 

What Matters Most: Part I

"What Matters Most" was a landmark study by the National Commission on Teaching written in 1996.  It outlined some lofty goals to public school reform that were supposed to be met by 2006.  Clearly, most of those recommendations were not embedded into No Child Left Behind.  Here we are in 2010, the traditional public schools continue to fail our children.  The charter option offers some relief if you're fortunate to live near one that is truly striving for student success.  I feel blessed that both my husband and I have served as educators, the experiences have shaped our prospects for Vida's education.

There is still so much work and progress to be made on public education.  However,  the struggle is the tension between my passion for educational equity and embracing motherhood to its fullest.  This past week, Pablo recovered from Strep but not before giving it to me.  Also, Vida was diagnosed with pink eye at urgent care when in fact it was Impetigo (a highly contagious infection spread by picking your nose and spreading bacteria on your face).  Lovely, right?

I had subbing assignments and after-school work to do for Monday and Tuesday, that went out the window.  $500 of income.  Gone.  I was in pain on Sunday night and concerned that I would be a wench to Vida because of the strep.  Luckily, I discovered an AMAZING urgent care place 5 minutes from my home.  I was in and out before Vida's follow up with her pediatrician.  This urgent care place holds true to its name.  Steroid shots are fabulous.  My tonsil discomfort was gone and I was able to give 100% of myself to Vida.  I was so happy, we had a great time together too.  On Tuesday, she even napped for 4 hours! 

With my flexible work schedule, I am able to get her from daycare sooner than later.  I have no guilt for not being at work.  It may seem like a no brainer but when you're passionate about your work there is a tension between work and the home life.  I always take a look at all the factors when making decisions which can be cumbersome.  I consider factors that are beyond my control and create fear, hesitancy, or doubt.  It's obvious that I don't take decision making lightly.  Everything gets analyzed-from the choice I make in baby carriers to my career decisions.  When it comes to purchases, if it's $50 or more it needs to be researched!  Silly, but I want to ensure that I don't have regrets.  Even on the everyday basics like a stainless steel trashcan for the kitchen.

I am going to stick with the What Matters Most theme for my next few post as these past weeks have presented this topic to me over and over again.

Part II: What Matters Most...grows the soul

Part II: What Maters Most...doing it right

(I started this post on 2.25.10: it's just getting posted now as I am finished editing it.)

Wow!

Based on your expression and intonation that word can be approval or disappointment, even shock.

So let's do the good ones first as in a genuine WOW with a smile...

1. Pablo cooking an awesome dinner.  I selected the menu from foodnetwork and it was delicious.  Now, my husband doesn't know his way around the kitchen unless it's a recipe from Men's Health.  One Valentine's day he made a great dinner selection of Moroccan Chicken Stew.  Anyhow, I challenged him a bit with a recipe from Emeril Lagasse this year: goat-cheese stuffed chicken breast and mushroom risotto.  So good.  While shopping for the ingredients at Bristol Farms (high end grocery store), I got an education on vegetable oil (safflower oil = good, Crisco/Wesson = bad because it's not expeller pressed) and I learned a little bit more about dry white wines (New Zealand, pinot grigio is a good dry wine).

2. Then there's Vida.  My child was born healthy, is developing beautifully and reaches or surpasses all of her developmental milestones.  She's raised by a mommy, daddy, and loving supporting network with Nani and our friends.  I don't take this for granted and I am grounded each time I read Maddie's blog and The Spohr's blog.  Vida truly lives up to her name.  She's blossoming every day.

Then there's the "Wow" as in I can't believe those words just left your mouth...

1. I have not lost all my baby weight and I have always liked wearing comfortable clothes.  I have a Merona black/white dress, see pic below, that I have owned prior to pregnancy.  Love it, it's versatile, a ready-to-wear work to evening piece.  Well I felt that way until last week...  one of the daycare parents complimented commented on the dress.  "I wore that dress all throughout my pregnancy, loved it, so comfortable."  My response, pardon me. I was giving her a chance to back track.  "Yea me too.  I haven't lost all my baby weight so I will keep wearing it."  Thanks!  I fully own it that I am jealous of the ladies who are 'all belly' when they're pregnant.  Although I wasn't designed that way (even in my skinny minnie days I wasn't toned), I would love to have that kind of pregnancy.

IMG_0064

 

2. The other example is more of a pet peeve.  One of the mom's in our parenting class gives her daughter a choice for EVERYTHING.  This little girl directs her mother's every move.  She does this with the sweetest lil baby face.  It's remarkable how they learn to influence us with the 'cute show' at such an early age.  She's the only one who has lashed out at other children, particularly Vida.  For example, three weeks ago, Vida was exploring with a puzzle while the lil girl was playing with her mom and a baby bottle toy.  She proceeded to whack Vida TWICE without provocation.  Vida let her know that was not okay by saying, 'Nice Ella." and touching her own head.  I just want to tell them mom, What are you doing?!  This is not a good habit to establish.  Thankfully, the mom seems to have developed some more self-awareness.  Also, one of the therapist has pointed it out, so it's not just me who has noticed.

Backward, Forward

Sesame Street was teaching 'backward and forward' with Murray and a DJ scratching.  There are so many mini-lessons in one episode, you don't know what she's capturing.  Well, at the end of the day, she was saying, 'backward, forward' as I was making dinner.  I listened closely and I could make it out, she was also trying to move in that fashion but doing so sideways, almost.  Super cute, she's been practicing ever since.

The title of this post is also a metaphor for parenting a toddler...

That's what negotiation involves, right?  How fitting as this evening, Vida was compliant aobut bed time as long as she could hold on to these two blocks, one that has an 'hour glass' in the middle and the other that has sliding washers.  Noisy, yes!  I put her down, she said, 'good night' and I replied.  Click, click, shake, shake.  And she was done!

That's it!  I am so glad, I was living in the present moment and didn't fight for her to give those up.  She fell asleep quickly, I went back in to remove the blocks from the crib.

-Reflecting on reaction at Borders
However, we're not always living with awareness.  We were at a final sale at a local Borders that was closing.  Vida wandered into the yellow tape section.  She was creeping in there after she'd been told not to stray.  At only 21 months, it's hard for her to comprehend that rule.  Why not, this place is so much bigger than the perimeter you're allowing me to explore.  I scolded her very sternly and she cried out.  I was disappointed in myself as it was unnecessary, she wasn't placing herself in any danger.  I have noticed, it's easier for me to parent in a mindful way at home.  There aren't as many distractions and my focus is all on family-oriented things. 

-Mindful Parenting
We've just completed our second class.  It's different, in that you need to go at the pace of the children.  In the first class, Vida did not have any meltdowns or incidents.  Last week, she had 2 small situations but overcame them fine.  It gave us the opportunity to dialogue about what happened.  Since the class begun, I respond to her erupting tantrums with less anxiety.  She's simply trying to make sense of her own emotions or get her message across.  Lately, she hasn't had an actual meal for dinner.  If there was only fruit in the world, she would survive.  It's difficult to get a portion of protein in the evening.  It's a nibble here and there.  I am comforted when she takes more than 3oz of her whole milk at bedtime.  In the midst of a tantrum, she said, 'stop crying'.  I told her, 'yes, use your words.'  Which I have used, since she could mumble 4 words.  I don't mean it as in, 'Please speak in complete sentences'.  But rather, take a moment, and tell me what you need.  She gets it and pauses for a moment.  She then told me what she wanted to eat.
It's a delicate balance, they comprehend so much more than they can express.  I am in no hurry to develop her language skills, she's flourishing in that department.  I want her to understand her feelings and feel comfortable expressing them.  One of the mom's in the class has a little boy, Owen, about Vida's age.  His mom always narrates what's happening when other kids are upset/crying.  Example: 'Adrian's sad because he wants to go outside right now.  See, his mommy is holding him and explaining to him why it's not time to go outside.'  I thought this was overkill, but the kid is able to interpret what he's seeing with the description his mom is giving.  Perhaps, he will have strong empathy and coping skills himself.  When Vida saw Adrian getting upset, she came up to me and said, 'uh oh, baby crying.'  I confirmed that for her and also said, 'all better', his mommy is making him feel better.  She says, 'yea'.

I have seen this modeled at exemplary daycare facilities.  It takes extra time so the baby/child-teacher ratio needs to be low.  This practice makes for happier children though-they learn patience, they 'let go', and they begin to stand up for themselves.   My search for a better daycare for the next kid begins now.  I am not pregnant, nor am I even in the TTC stage.  I did visit the Connections For Children site and downloaded a listing of daycare sites in my zip code and even checked of criteria such as bilingual-Spanish.  Vida was well taken care of as an infant but now as a toddler, there's been a lack of supervision that has been disappointing.  I trust in the ladies at her daycare but they've been too relaxed in the last 6 months.  I have consulted with a premiere daycare director and she says to hang in there because one extra transition before preschool is tough on little ones that have formed relationships.  Pablo and I are sorting through all the preschools too to selct the best one.  By Spring, I think we'll have applications in 4 sites.  We have two now.  Just like college, you pick a back up, 2 practical ones, and a 'reach' school.

One week at a time... 

A Season of Firsts

BIG CHRISTMAS:
Whoa, did Vida have a big Christmas.  I was getting ready to write the thank you notes and had presents from 15 different sources, often more than 1 item.  Our two-bedroom apartment will explode with toys soon.  In her 21 months, she hasn't really outgrown any, so we can't give the 'old' ones away.  Besides, a sibling will come along and need the infant toys.  Her birthday is 3 months away, I am seriously considering 'no toys please'.  I would never turn down clothes.  Although, we are solid in that department, we have some great 3T hand-me-downs waiting.

LETTER RECOGNITION:
We have 1/3-ish of a set of Leapfrog magnetic alphabet letters on the fridge.  For fun, I quizzed her today.  I noticed that she was selecting more letters on her own, when we would go over the 'flashcards' on the starfall.com site.  The letters on the fridge are M-O-E-G-K-Y-I-A.  The only one she missed was M, she walled it W.  Our garbage truck says, WM on it for waste management, the W is in bright yellow, she floored me when she pointed that out on Monday.  Time to open up another bag of magnet letters.  She also loves the Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom book and a friend introduced us to the music video on You Tube. 

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom - With Lyrics - Alphabet Song

STOMACH FLU:
She's had a mild stomach virus before but the one we just battled was significant:

3 vomit episodes in 2 hours: So sad, because she can feel it coming and feels helpless, I think it frightens her a little too.

Slept through the night

Woke up dehydrated, lips were dry:  Gave her sips of water, 3oz or less at a time.  Held it all down, nibbled on some bland foods.  I gave her one AM and PM Motrin dose. 

3 diarrhea episodes:  The doctor warned me that after the 6-12 hour vomit period, you enter the D-zone.  Nothing major though.

Gained her appetite: She had some cheese in the afternoon and evening.

Sleep:  Napped 3 hours today and fell asleep without any issue, though she did require a dose of 4-books.

So it wasn't that bad but the vomit takes you by surprise it's not what I remember when she was an infant because she was pretty healthy in that arena.

Then Mommy got a mild case of it, worked it out with no major setbacks.  Unfortunately, DH got it really bad.  He's recovering now.  I made him rest all day, he didn't have to serve a purpose until 4 pm today.  In return, I was thanked with a really cute card and an iTunes gift card.  Hooray!

MUSIC TOGETHER:
This morning was our first MT class at the well baby center.  It was an intimate group, ourselves and two other families (a 7 month old girl and a boy about Vida's age).  There was a race so I think some of the other families gave up with all the detours.  She really focused and chimed in at times.  Vida mostly participates with tapping along with the rhythm of the song.  The teacher, Heidi, plays the ukulele, Vida calls it a guitar and strummed a sharp G at the end of class.  Daddy stayed home because he was under the weather but he would have been proud.  Some of the songs we do have accompanying motions, when those ended, Vida would say, AGAIN!.  She loves combining physical activity with song.  HEAD SHOULD KNEES AND TOES is a favorite too.  I need to record that one.  When she gets to EYES EARS MOUTH AND NOSE she is right on target.  We received our songbook and CD.  Sweet, another 'tranquilizer' for the car ride.  Well, until she asked me to play the "Hello Everybody" song on repeat for the whole ride to Nani's house for breakfast.  I highly recommend this research-based class.  It's a good idea to participate in demo lessons.  We had 4 different centers within a reasonable distance from us.  We participated in two demos at the center closest to us but the Well Baby Center has a great vibe and offers other parenting resources like the Mindful Parenting Class.  We start that next Friday.  Looking forward to this experiential learning to compliment my child development class.  Below is a clip of the HELLO EVERYBODY song in action, it's in the first 1:40:

Robert's Music Together class -- June 26th, 2008

 

Things on my mind...

I am one of those who can make long To Do list and ponders the universe.  My head feels so full right now, I think that tends to happen with the holiday season in full swing.  So let me have a 'blurt it out' session so I can lighten my load some.  I know I am not the only processing these thoughts, so please chime in the comments section with a "Me too, I think about...."

1. Need to refer to my December To Do list and create a schedule for the remainder of the items which are all 'due' on 12/23.

2. Brainstorming pregnancy care and birth options for the next one (whenever that may be).  I know pre-natals make a significant impact, need to start again, just for prep.

3. I want to eat healthier, I am thinking of going veg (well, allowing for fish)  2 days/week and/or raw/whole eating 2-3 days/week.  It refers to eating nothing processed (basically if it comes in its own packaging, it's processed.  The exception will be Greek yogurt.)

4. I need to embarrass myself into fitness, create an exercise tally sheet to post on the wall to serve as motivation.

5. I want orderliness in my household as with my weekly grocery/menu plan, it's really a bi-weekly thing.  LOVE IT.  Now if I could get on that track with laundry.  Bummer that it has to occur AT LEAST once per week.

6. I want a place of our own in less than a year but having difficulty weighing that against pre-school options for Vida.  Hmmmmm....

Ahhhhh, that makes me feel much better.

Beyond Words...

Vida is about a week away from turning 20 months!  Her language development continues to impress me.  I know, every mother has a super baby.  Well here's some proof:

She can say some 3 word sentences, here are some examples:

1. I see you!  If you're playing hide and seek and she spots you.
2. We're home!  As we drive into our alley and pull up to our place.
3. There it is!  When she has located something we asked for.

She has memorized two songs and sings them on her own.

1. The Wheels on the Bus... (My mom just loves this one.)
This one is not as easily understood until you hear her say, 'round and round'.  She sings it spontaneously not on command.
2 Happy Birthday! (Every gathering with multiple people and candles in sight is 'Happy Birthday' time.)
Take Thanksgiving for example: At the table were centerpieces with orange tapers.  She was so excited and began to sing "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Vida.  Blow! Blow!"
Vida has a cousin that's 6 weeks older than her and his mom said he only knew 3 words and simply grunts to have his needs met.
3. She's working on some Mother Goose Nursery rhymes, I think she has them but doesn't sing them all the way through on her own.  Favorites include: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (95% memorized), Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Pat a Cake (85% memorized).

 She asks to have books read to her one after the other. 
I notice this most during the bed time routine: we put the pajamas on, bring the bottle, she inhales it, and says, 'book'.  We read one, two, and sometimes three or four books.  I am trying to decipher if she has already started to use it as a stall for bedtime or simply enjoys reading for pleasure. There are days where she'll get in a book worm mood in the middle of the day and want to read. 
There's one book, she can 'read' on her own:

That's Not My Dolly (Touchy-feely)

Fiona Watt

On each page there's a different doll with a feature that is not 'right'.  Example: 'That's not my dolly!  Her shoes are too bumpy!'  The shoes are textured for touch.  As Vida flips through it, you can hear the intonation that I use as I read to her.  I may have mentioned this before because she caught me by surprise about two months ago when I overheard her.  I am fascinated though because it reminds of when I ask kids to read aloud with an animated voice and to use the punctuation marks.  Some kids still sound monotone or their attempts are strained.  Reading with intonation can only be learned through modeling.

She engages in storytelling:
There are 3 incidents she re-lives when something trigger her memory, usually an object or keyword.

1. The parakeet incident: While Pablo let the birds spread their wings, they scrambled to the top of the back door when Vida approached.  One of them flew away back to the cage as Vida began to move the door.  The more docile, tame one, stayed and had a toe smashed in the door frame.  With a horrible shriek, Vida let go and ran to the other side of the kitchen, she was traumatized.  Her face flush and on the verge of tears from the horrible squaking.  Pablo was washing the dishes (awesome Husband, I know) and I came in to check out the commotion.  The bird is now inside its cage and bleeding.  I attend to Vida and reassure her, Pablo attends to the bird, quickly Googling first aid.  Pablo was leaving the next morning for a surprise visit home for his mom's birthday.  I took the bird in for a check up (I didn't think it was necessary but these $4 parakeets are his friends).  $100 later (an antibiotic and vitamin shot), granted both parakeets had their nails trimmed, he's fine.  Every now and then, Vida will comment:

Bird, Door, Sorry

Sorry...was picked up at daycare.  If she walks by an object and bumps into it, she tells the it, 'sorry'.  Once when I picked her up from daycare, she said, 'Seesaw.  Sorry.'  She motioned to her head.  I am guessing some kid abruptly got off and she fell off.

2. Then there was the Turban squash incident.  We selected a turban squash from the pumpkin patch.  It was Pablo's idea, it could serve as Vida's own pumpkin, it's a cute size, and it looks like a toadstool.  Below is an example:

TurbanSquash

One morning I was washing out her bottles and she wanted to tell the parakeets good morning.  We have a routine where we tell them 'good morning' and pull of the towel that covers them.  Well the turban squash was sitting on top of the cage and came down with just a couple of gentle tugs.  A 'foot' of the squash landed square on the front right corner of Via's head and knocked her to her butt.  It was definitely a slow motion reaction on my part as it unfolded.  She summarizes the incident as Pumpkin!  Burdies!  Sorry!  As she pats the part of her forehead that was hit.  :-(

I don't want to end on a sad note like that.  She has incredible resiliency and spunk.  It's hilarious to watch her find tons of amusement in the most basic experiences, like going up and down the back steps or her Little Tikes slide in our living room.  The role playing is expanding.  She places her stuff animals on chairs and spins them 'round and 'round.  She reads with them in her house. 

This weekend a new element of entertainment was introduced...Play dough!  I have small jars (the party favor ones) in 4 different colors.  She loves them all.  Daddy has a good time too.  He makes her cake, strawberries, and bananas.  She likes using tools with it, like a small roller, protractor, and the cases themselves.  Beginning in January, she will start attending Music Together classes.  I am saving the details of our first demo class for another post.  The program is simply amazing!  We're taking small steps to prep her for preschool, she could start as early as 4 months from now!  Most likely, we're still 10 months away but it's good to present her with similar experiences. 

Always a mommy...always

It seems as though the surge of hormones acquired during my pregnancy with Vida still linger.  Whenever I read a tragic news story about a young life lost, a sinking feeling comes over me.  I actually feel my chest sink a little bit as I go limp reading some of the details of these abductions that almost always result in killings. 

I can recall the first time that I watched some footage on the news while on maternity leave and simply clutching Vida as close as I possibly could without actually squishing her.  I needed to run an errand at Target and began to take into consideration measures that are needed to protect her from 'baby snatchers'.  The story I watched on the news didn't even play out like that. However, the thoughts of what a 'baby snatcher' could do sent me into hyper-protective mode.

As an educator, you have many opportunities to create nurturing mommy moments.  I recently subbed in a first grade classroom and was taken aback by the hugs I was welcomed with after lunch recess.  This morning, I arrived early for an assignment to assist a librarian.  There was a 1st grader waiting for the library to open up along with me.  She had a Fancy Nancy book in Spanish!  I asked her about it and asked if I could read it with her.  Mid-way through the book, a fourth grader arrived and began to follow along.  I just couldn't help myself.  For one thing, I felt awkward just hanging out in the hallway and out of a little boredom was born a teachable moment.

Imagine...

Imagine...
A preschool with a passionate director, an authentic Reggio approach, and a beautiful environment.  Yes, it's out of reach: with only a 1/2 day schedule and a 5-digit price tag plus an additional $2K for the art materials and registration fee.  The experience is worthwhile, this site is a testament to how the childrens' natural talents are nourished.  I knew the preschool search would be tough but didn't expect heartache to go with it.  What I have learned though is to use the same approach when selecting a day care site.  I didn't give myself enough time on that one.  I am happy with Vida's daycare but it doesn't have a bilingual component.  It's possible to have it all, it just takes a significant amount of planning.

We just wrapped up our second preschool tour and were super satisfied until we reflected on the price tag, it's more than our rent.  It will be a back up, pending my future employment.  When you compare it to the preschool above, it's a 'bargain'.  A huge bonus at this location is that the child can start on their second birthday, rolling admissions, and they don't have to be potty-trained.  So far this has been a rare perk: usually potty training is required and they can't start until they are 2.5.

I have 4 more preschool tours between November and January.  1/2 of them are not realistic due to their hours but I want to get a feel for what's offered in the area so that I can make an informed decision.

This is when you truly feel the middle class squeeze and your options are limited.  We want it all: a satisfying career, home ownership and a great education for our child(ren).  In CA, that combination is reserved for a few.

Oh, how I miss the days where I could scribble out a 5-year plan and everything worked out perfectly, falling into place at the right time.  Now, it's about the 10-year plan and holding our breath that it works out.  I guess, we can hold off on buying our first place until it's time for kindergarten or college.  I am an advocate of public education whether traditional or charter.  However, I feel strongly about a private high school education.  That view could change with some significant reform.

I read the The Complete TightWad Gazette to learn more tips about saving money.  To truly fit the bill there are some caveats: you need to have strong home ec skills, live in a rural area, and have one parent stay home.  Yes, there were multiple examples of families owning homes with only one income, granted their purchases were less than $50K.

Which brings me to my next topic...

How do I reduce my carbon footprint, live a frugal life, and increase family quality time factor?
(I would love to hear your answers to this question too.)

This BIG question evolved as I discovered the No Impact Man, the book mentioned above, personal finance blogs, a rigorous work environment, and the Story of Stuff.

So in my tiny universe I have taken these steps and noticed that some have the added benefit of a healthy lifestyle too:

1. Commitment to only 1 TV in our household and no cable.  We have always had 1 TV and the DirectTV was canceled months ago and replaced with a more affordable Netflix subscription (only 1 DVD at a time).  It still feels like we watch too much TV, between morning cartoons and our shows/interests, we're probably at 10 hours/week.  I would rather spend that time reading or doing something productive like household duties.  As Vida's school years begin, I would like to create the routine of no TV after dinner as it will be reserved for homework time and it only gets turned on after she's asleep.  We have ridiculously great weather, it was 90 degrees today, we should be outside more often. 

2. Making treats instead of buying them.  Like if I want to serve dessert for the family it will be something made from scratch.  Or if I want snack foods for work, it will be a home-made item.  So far this has been in effect 50%...

3. Buying in bulk and sharing the difference with family.  We're just two adults and a toddler, so I review a list of needs with my mom and we split the cost on some Costco purchases.

4. Using a Brita filter instead of buying bottled water, this one is tough because bottle water is such an evil, er, great convenience.  We're getting better at this one, I think a larger Brita contraption would help.

5. Menu planning: it makes so much sense and has significant pay off in terms of finances and stress.  No last minute decisions and panic fast food runs.  It's not intuitive or second nature yet but it has improved in the last 3 months.  Taking time off from working full time made a difference.  It also helps with grocery shopping and cuts down on throwing away unused food.

6. No full price purchases or dining: Basically take advantage of discounts, coupons, and perks if you want to treat yourself or indulge.  There have been multiple times that I found myself remembering that 'we had a coupon for that.  Dang it!'

7. Do significant research on any purchase over $50: First ask yourself is it REALLY necessary, then if it is, hunt for the best value.  Take Vida's bedroom furniture for example: the crib can be modified to a toddler bed and the dresser and night stand can plain-face or have colorful panels, it's also well made and will last.  I remember having my furniture for nearly a decade.  I can't say the same for our main couch, I think it's cush factor has a maximum of 5 years left.

Living this lifestyle is not difficult it just takes commitment, like my Jillian's 30-Day Shred work out.  :-) Bottom line: you can't procrastinate if you want to be successful with this lifestyle.  

No way!

I have no idea why but when Vida is adamant about not eating something or not doing something she will let you know with a definitive...

NO WAY!!!

It's not an expression we use so it must have been picked up at daycare.

Recently, she was overcome with frustration while Nani was watching her...

My mom told me that she was messing with the on/off switch on the TV and she told her not to do that.  Vida clenched her fist with fury and shouted NO WAY...AND slapped my mom two times!

She was taken aback and so was Vida.  She said Vida had a look of 'oh no, now I have done it.'  My mom couldn't come up with a response to discipline her.  It's very much out of character for Vida.

Just this evening we were in the food court at the local mall and took her to the play area for the 1st time.  She held her own very well with tranquility and patience.  There was a set of brothers about 5 and 2.5 who were acting like punks!  The 5 year old, Mikey, in particular was the Tazmanian Devil!  He went up to Vida and called her a 'baby' in a mocking tone over and over again.  She just looked at him and his brother with a look that said, 'Okay, and what of it?!?!?

Their father eventually came over because, the boys were not getting a reaction from Vida, so they began some physical contact.  This is when I was about to pounce on the punks, their father came in and said some weak, 'no, no' junk.  It didn't stop, at one point, Mikey was about to poke Vida in the eye.  These boys terrorized some other girls too.

I guess Vida was too young to think anything of their horrendous behavior.  She had fun doing laps around the gi-normous hot dog.  She enjoyed herself despite these two instigators.

18 months!

Vida celebrated her 18 month birthday on Monday.  I had class that evening so DH got her a cupcake and sang "Happy Birthday" to her.  She loved it.  I got in on the fun the following day with a Hostess cupcake.  She loved the song and asked to do it again.  Vida participate more in the ritual than she did on her 1st birthday, when it all took her by surprise.

Some of her latest milestones and learning curves...

1. Counting: She can count from 1 through 9 when it's combined with an activity such as doing pull ups on Daddy's "As Seen on TV" pull up bar or climbing stairs.  We definitely have to capture this on video soon to prove it.  She impressed Nani today as she watched her on the pull up bar.

2. Self-feeding: Still in development but she's very eager to do it herself when it's a solid food.  With liquids or cereal, I set it up for her and she takes it from there.  There's a 'control freak' side of me that wants to do it for her in the name of efficiency.  In my child development class, I am learning about independence and interdependence.  If she wants to do it herself, I let her, otherwise I jump in and get it done.  For solids, I still keep food to finger-food size.  So if we're having chicken, I shred her portion.  If we're having cheese n' mac with that, she will use a fork.

3. Pre-potty training: Vida is getting better at undressing herself.  She's most proficient with her socks and shirt.  There's not much interest in pulling her bottoms down.  She recognizes and makes the names and sounds for potty time.  She will sit at her potty casually.  I let her come to the bathroom with me.  We're working on explaining the concept that 'pee' and 'poo' go 'bye -bye' in the potty.

4. Vocabulary: It's expanding weekly.  She's aware of when she hears a new word and repeats it again and again.  She participated in a study at the UCLA baby lab (it was her 4th visit) and I filled out a vocabulary inventory.  Vida knows so many more words than she can say.  It's amazing how much that little brain absorbs.  I recently checked out the The Read-Aloud Book from the library.  (Side note:  I don't even hunt for the books I am interested in on the shelves.  I simply go online and reserve it.  I am sent an email when it arrives at my local branch and I go pick it up.  Easy breezy!) So, I can't believe that I didn't already own this book.  It should be required reading in all teacher preparation programs.  The authors weaves research along with his professional and personal experience, sprinkled with some anecdotes to create the case for reading aloud to children throughout their entire life.  Yes, 0 to 18!  Sometimes it feels like a chore, when Vida picks up her 6th book to read aloud.  There's a mommy confession for you.  Now that I have the 3 chapters of this book and reflected on my teaching days in a high-needs urban area, I happily read the 6th, 7th, and 8th book of the day. 

The Read-Aloud Handbook: Sixth Edition

Jim Trelease

Flirting with older boys & brilliant blue poop

Yes, all in one afternoon.

Yesterday, Vida, my mom and I attended a birthday party for a cousin turning 1.  There were mini cupcake centerpieces with super bright icing.  Vida had 2 with bright blue frosting.  Her poop had a light blue tint to it today.  I remember reading about the phenomenon that your child's waste can change color due to food coloring so I was prepared.  Otherwise, I would have been Googling, 'blue baby poop'.

We also had lunch at the Corner Bakery, a new one that opened up at a small shopping center.  The cutest family with 2 boys (5 and 2.5) were sitting next to us.  We were near the entrance, where there's a small couch area for people waiting for to go orders.  Vida was restless toward the end of the meal and decided to play in that area.  The boys wanted to join in.  When the 5 y/o entered the area, she approached him, babbled some gibberish, and acted sweetly toward him.  He was speechless and lost as to what to do, he ran back to his dad with his face blushing and buried himself into his dad.  His name is Bowie, as in David Bowie, super cute hipster kid.  His lil bro enters into 'Vida's play area', they hit off, chatting it up, doing some dance moves, climbing.  I think Bowie will pick up some girl tips from his lil bro, Phoenix.  Yes, those are their real names.  I know, only in L.A.  The parents were a beautiful down-to-earth couple.

It was so fun to watch Vida be so bold, she's comfortable approaching kids that seem to be having fun.  It seems to happen more often with boys who are about 3-5.  Perhaps, it's the girl-boy ratio at daycare that gives her the confidence.  It's a fine line to watch for sure, and it all may just disappear once she hits the 'tweens.  I watch with fascination as she tries to engage them in some conversation, she's relentless too.  If they don't answer her back, she will continue talking!  My DH will say something like, "that sounds familiar" when he reads this entry.  He is very good at decoding her words or so it seems...

I truly believe she is communicating with real words, just the pronunciation is off.  When she actually speaks in a sentence it's a mash up of all the words together.  I have to record some examples of her making an exclamation and my husband giving the translation.  One of the first phrases/sentences, he decoded was, 'Let me see."  It sounds like, 'lemme seeeeee."  She uses it when one of us is holding an object that she is interested in.  I am hesitant to agree with all the translation that DH comes up with but she speaks with a tone and command that I can't just chalk it up to baby talk.

"That's a pow pow, Vida."

Has anyone else seen this article on CNN.  It makes perfect sense: 'Spanking children predicts aggressive behavior problems at age 2'.  I was spanked as a kid and still remember it, I would hide my detention slips to avoid it.  I would beg my mom to not make me tell my dad.  It wasn't painful, it was simply humiliating!

Instead, my mother has introduced, 'pow pow', it's a phrase we started to use when she entered the phase of throwing food off the high chair.  My mom will put out her own wrist and mockingly tap it while saying 'pow pow'.  Vida is a natural mimic and would drop the food and then repeat the action.  It was a game...

I decided to say the words, 'pow pow', with a scowl and a stern tone.  I also tap her wrist briskly and she stops dropping food, throwing objects off shelves, and putting her mouth on the trashcan liner.  I know-gross!

I don't want to strike fear into her and manage misbehavior in that fashion.  As much as possible, I will return to the 'No, not for Vida' and remove her from the situation to distract her.  When I am thinking and processing the situation instead of simply reacting, the outcome and better for both of us, no frustration, no stress.

What has worked is chill out time, it's like 'time out but' more about taking time for herself.  One day, after daycare, she was antsy, playing destructively and unable to focus.  When she began to whine, I lifted her from the living room to the crib, all she needed was 5 minutes.  I expected her to commence with a protest of shrieking.  Instead, a subdued voice emerged, baby babble, and gentle play began.

When I cannot remove her (example: dining out), I whisper in her ear: 'Not right now Vida, you need to sit down, thank you.'  It buys me some time and she understands the concept.  Babies are so perceptive to body language and tone.  I am taking a child development class for my own sake and slowly building up to a director permit.  For one of my projects, we have to present a concept for a parent workshop.  I found inspiration at this site.  Enjoy!

Kick it in high gear!

Living the Big City life...

Fire and Brimstone
For starters there's the weather...apparently our L.A. fires are so significant it has made international news.  It has been nothing short of devastating, particularly with the death of 2 firefighters, both family men.  One was expecting his 1st child in 3 weeks.  I am thinking of looking up their registry online and sending a small gift.  In solidarity.

Toddlerhood in Hollywood
Vida had her first official gymnastics class today.  We sampled the program with a trial class 2 weeks ago and she was all over it.  Ms. Savannah, the gymnastics teacher, is a natural with the 'foxes and pups'.  That's the name used for the littlest kiddos.  Guess who is in her class?  Sunny, Adam Sandler's 10 month old daughter.  I made a huge boo boo and called her a boy.  Nice one.  Adam was there too.  See this is special for me...when Pablo and I were dating he asked who my Hollywood heartthrob was...my answer: Adam Sandler!  That's not what he expected, he was thinking Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, the usual.  I was like, 'Hello!"  Adam would keep me laughing.  Laughter = Happiness!
Vida is not is some super-posh studio, she's at JAG (Josephson Academy of Gymnastics) in Culver City.  I signed up for classes via our local community college, West L.A. College.  We get the same exact classes but at a discounted price and bypass the customary registration fee.  It's going well, it's great to see her learn how to use her muscles and develop some coordination.  Something both DH and I lack (he's fallen out of a tree and I am a klutz).

Playdates
So maybe Vida will be invited to Sunny's 1st birthday.  :-)
Right now, I am at a coffee shop catching up on things while Vida has a playdate with Lily.  I used to babysit Lily.  She seemed all good so I just tip toed outta there while she continued to explore their back yard.  I have only checked my phone 3 times in 30 minutes!  When I went to pick up Vida, she was a 'velcro monkey' attached to Lily.  It also made me cry that she didn't want to come home with me!  She had a great time.  It is noted that the combination of an intensive 45-minute morning gymnastics session combined with a 1-hour fun playdate makes for a GREAT 3.5 hour nap!